made a blunder. usually mistakes are easily rectified as long i remember the lesson. but this time, this blunder leads to unnecessary false hopes. and it hurts when ya realise its not true. to say i dun feel anything and i am alrite will be a lie. of course it hurts when i realise what the truth means. perhaps this is all part of the healing process. at least i did manage to know the truth in the end, which is more important. and now, i am clear where i stand and its time to give up. time to stop bearing hope. time to gradually lessen the impact of all the memories.
this time, i am tired of trying to encourage myself and be optimistic. i guess at times optimisim is evil.
